Top 30 Dad Jokes

28 May Top 30 Dad Jokes

Top 30 Dad Jokes – People don’t like to admit it (especially my kids), but everyone loves an embarrassingly cheesy dad joke. I, however, absolutely love them, I tell them all the time and my kids hate me for it 🙂 I love them so much I have decided to create and share a list of my favourite 30 dad jokes. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do 😉

 

1. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

2. Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.

3. Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

4. KID: I’m Hungry
DAD: Nice to meet you hungry, I’m Dad.

5. What do you call gnomes who work security for someone’s lawn?
Guardin’ Gnomes.

6. KID: I feel like ice cream
DAD: You don’t look like one!

7. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

8. What key can open a banana?
A Monkey.

9. What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y

10. What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?
Bison.

11. KID: Did you get a haircut?
DAD: No, I got them all cut

12. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?
He was outstanding in his field.

13. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.

14. KID: What’s the time Dad?
DAD: (looks at wrist) Time you bought a watch

15. Sad times, my friend has become addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop whenever he wants.

16. DAD: How old are you now, eight?
KID: No, higher!
DAD: (puts on high pitched voice) Eight!

17. KID: What was that movie about?
DAD: About an hour and a half.

18. Hey, have you heard about the kidnapping!?
He woke up.

19. When your foot falls asleep, You have coma toes

20. What do vegan zombies eat?
Grains…

21. How do prisoners communicate?
Using cell -phones

22. I’ll never forget what my mum said about my dead beat of a dad from Australia…
He’s a lion cheetah!!

23. I used to believe in emails and texting …
but then I found out they were just alternative fax.

24. How do you intrigue someone?
I’ll tell you tomorrow

25. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve food here.

26. KID: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’
DAD: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!

27. I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

28. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

29. Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

30. I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, You.

That’s my Top 30 dad jokes. As always if you have any comments or I’ve missed any of your favourite jokes from the list then please let me know in the comments below. If you liked this post please share on social media.

Thanks, David 😉

 

 

Comments

comments